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Over the Overlook

by Amb. Parsley

/

about

A year ago I answered the phone and then Kelly started explaining, “Hi. So, yeah I know what you should do. My friend Rosie just opened a bakery, you should work there.”

I shuffled through some mail…“Yeah? Uhm you think, because I-”

“Yes, you should.” She continued, “Actually, to be honest, sometimes we get cakes from Rosie behind your back…so you won’t be offended, because you’re like, the one that always bakes all the birthday cakes for our crew and everything, but oh my god…its…it’s her frosting. It’s like a cloud or something, it’s just other level…it’s, it’s super elegant. But anyway, you should work there because you need to go outside…and it’ll be good for you. OK?’

“Yeah…yes.” I was touched that she was thinking about of me. I missed her. It’d been nearly a year since me and Louie and Holly’d holed up in her pottery studio because of the plague. “That actually sounds really nice…and I know, I need to go outside. You are absolutely right, thank you. Uhm…I love you so much, I’d be so totally dead in a ditch if it wasn’t for you.”

“Oh, stoooop it…”

Wait….which cakes?! Who’s Birthday was it?!!! You went behind my back?”

“Uh huh, yup, yeah I did, sorry. Gotta run, she’s gonna call you in like fifteen minutes. Her name’s Rosie DeVito, love you.”

And that’s how I came to be under the employ of a witch.



*****


Now, excepting the eldest pup of a local werewolf family somewhere in West Hurley, who delivers his mother’s delicious jam and washes dishes sometimes, there are four of us who work for Rosie in the Overlook’s tiny kitchen.

Each one of us, strangely, firmly remembers being the first one hired. I myself can only vaguely recollect who drifted in when, or under what circumstances. All I can tell you is that we were simply pulled inside like a hand-full of colored balloons, bopping around the doorframe and then sort of squeezing in all at once, each one a part of a spell that goes:

“Rosie
Parsley
Sabrina
Linda
Laura”

Together, we make the most beautiful cookies and cakes you’ve ever seen and also, they reportedly make whoever eats them sweeter…like, a little nicer for a day or two, and then that inevitably makes them look more beautiful, and so they may also perhaps make a new friend, or get job…or something. Not for sure, mind you, nothing’s ever for sure…it’s just that there’s a much higher possibility that a good thing might happen to you for at least 36 hours after the consumption of an Overlook sweetie.

But a word of warning: Please do mind your p’s & q’s. Why just the other day some weekender was less than polite to Rosie and as soon as he walked outside his hat blew right off his head, out into the street and then was run over by a truck. I’ve seen similar things happen to people who try and lie to her.

In fact, there’s a good bit of funny business at the Overlook.

*****

Sabrina likes to entertain us in the kitchen by telling us all exactly what the next customer is going to ask for. She also knows what you need, so if you’re ever gripped by uncertainty when it’s your turn in line, be sure and listen to her if she seems like she’s over-recommending something.

Then there’re Linda’s hands, which are creatures of their own. One of them accidentally brushed my shoulder at the slop-sink the other day and my hair immediately fixed itself on the spot. She’s the only one that Rosie lets frost a cake.

(That’s where I come in. I make the frosting, but I’m certainly not telling you how.)

Then there’s our Laura. Once, she made ten perfect lemon tarts in the time it took me to look down and crack exactly one egg. When I pressed her on the specs, she just giggled and shrugged her shoulders. She’s very shy you see and has recently taken to hiding under the refrigerator when the front counter gets too busy.

Oh but you should come visit us and soon…especially if you need a birthday cake. We simply advise all recipients to be very careful what they wish for while blowing out the candles.

Also while inside the premises please remember to mind your manners. And don’t ever try and fib to Rosie.

Pleaseandthankyou,
Amb. Parsley

lyrics

Rosie’s eyes
You be careful they will hypnotize you
You may tell zero lies to them
Or something bad could happen to you
Sorry

I’m all ears
I can hear when the babies cry for sweets
And then make them fall asleep
On clouds made of frosting
Mmmmmmmmmm

Sabrina knows
Just how everybody goes
Your cares and your woes
She can smell ‘em on you when you walk into the room

Ay Dios mío, Linda
She’s the only one of us that Rosie let’s frost a cake
A red with with a fair hand and everything we bake
Gets sprinkled with glitter
And rainbows
And gold stars too
All for you

Laura Laura Laura
She’s got the touch
Feels too much
Knows when everything is gonna be alright
And she looks so pretty on her broom
Flying off into the night
Over the Overlook
Yeah
Over the Overlook
Over the Overlook Bakery Tonight

credits

released April 1, 2022
Written by Amb. Parsley
Produced by Holly Miranda
Recorded at Hi Pony and Goathouse Studios

Guitar - Chris Maxwell
Bass - Josh Werner
Vocals - Amb. Parsley
Everything else - Holly Miranda

Music video by Holly Miranda

Released on Eye Knee Records 2022

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Amb. Parsley New York, New York

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